Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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