I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
