too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
