3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we're chasing vodka with high fives
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
