sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
