Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
