Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
