my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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