is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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