I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
