Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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