The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
