and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
