wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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