yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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