Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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