I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
