My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Randomize
