Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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