I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
