Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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