Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
