you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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