i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
