I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
