The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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