im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
