My nipple is on Facebook.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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