I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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