Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he thought i was a dude.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
