people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
