You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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