I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
