hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
