take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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