2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
