considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Even my vagina gasped.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
we're so committed to being not committed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
