Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
