Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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