I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
