Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
