for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
