God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
