Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
