i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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