Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
