i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
