I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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