why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize