If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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