Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
