Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
