she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
