Can Purell be used as lube?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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