Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
