I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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