elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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