You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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