If that was your dad, he is hot
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
