I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
