i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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