i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
