How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
