At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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