Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
