What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
