have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
