Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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